I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
wow bdsm is so cute
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
