So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
