You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
