She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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