i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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