and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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