woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
