Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
