I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
