I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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