My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize