I hope mine doesn't look like that
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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