I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
