so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
