I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
