So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think i have herpe
just one?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize