she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
