His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
