I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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