doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
