I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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