so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
