That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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