Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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