The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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