She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
