I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
