i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
