we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
