i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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