I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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