So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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