i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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