at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
