i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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