I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
