shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
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I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.