the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
