how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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