i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
40s are totally the cure
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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