make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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