I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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