I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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