dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
