i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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