And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
smell my finger.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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