His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
