trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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