So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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