when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize