There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
