I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
