he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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