so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Randomize
