She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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