Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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