just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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