the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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