I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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