I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
