i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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