proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
