I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
